This transcript was computer generated with no editing.
Brad Shreve
This is Queer. We Are. Now you know this is true. If you’re gay, you hate sports, you talk with a list, you love to shop for high fashion and you count the minutes between each episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race. On the other hand, if you’re straight, you’re into cars, you don’t do housework, never stand down from a fight and don’t show your emotions, and that especially means sure as hell, no crying Sound, true? Well, there can be some truth to stereotypes. I mean, I’ve got the list thing down, though that doesn’t mean it’s strictly a gay thing. Plus, while I’m not an avid fan, I do enjoy a good baseball and hockey game, and dare I say this, please don’t turn this off but I’m not sure I’d recognize Britney Spears in a crowd. Now, in my own defense, I’d spot her soon to be ex Sam Asghari in seconds.
Six years ago, Mike and Kyle started Gayish, the podcast that questions these stereotypes, while having a damn good time doing it. And not only do they have a good time, but their large following does also, and it hasn’t gone unnoticed. They’ve been featured in Oprah Magazine, Quirty, BuzzFeed, the Houston Chronicle and somehow even the Hustler Magazine. On their website, you can see the many awards they’ve been nominated for, as well as how high they’ve reached in the podcast charts. It’s impressive.
On Queer We Are, we don’t discuss the same stuff you see in the headlines. No, not that shit going on there or that shit that what’s his name is doing. That’s all in the headlines and you see it all the time. It’s time to give you a break from all that. My s share the obstacles they have overcome, or how they stay positive despite these damn headlines. Or maybe they’re just here to entertain, and sometimes they do all of the above. As for the Gayish podcast, this isn’t a commercial for them, though I love the show and I am more than happy to promote them. Instead, we discuss what Gayish means, why they started the show and what makes them so damn popular. So, coming up instead of my regular transition music, you’ll hear the Gayish theme song. But first I introduce myself, because I’m Brad Shreve and my s are Mike Johnson and Kyle Getz and Queer We Are.
Gayish podcast theme song:
When you know that you are queer but your favoritee drink is beer that’s Gayish.
You can bottom without stopping, but you can’t stand going shopping. That’s Gayish.
Oh, Gayish, you’re probably Gayish. Life’s just too short for narrow stereotypes. Oh, it’s Gayish. We’re all so Gayish. It’s Gayish with Mike and Kyle.
Brad Shreve
Mike and Kyle, when you were on my former podcast, my co- Justine, she was always down at the beginning. I was really I hardly ever listened to podcasts and so she was always recommending them to me, and one day she recommended yours, Gayish, and I gotta say I think it is the best recommendation that she gave me.
Kyle Getz
Awww, it’s sweet.
Mike Johnson
That’s very sweet.
Brad Shreve
Thank you for having a great show, and the titles of your episodes are interesting. I was going through them last night and you have amongst yours what have you been on six years now. Among your list of podcasts you have Farming, roller Coasters, baseball, laundry, and then you have Bottoms, beastiality, fisting and my personal favorite, just Plain CUM.
Mike Johnson
Yeah, true story.
Kyle Getz
It’s a favorite of mine too.
Brad Shreve
So, looking at that, without having read the description of the show, what is Gayish?
Mike Johnson
Gayish is a weekly long format show. It’s about an hour and a half long and we talk about gay stereotypes. The whole project started just to say that old adage of I’m going to take away your gay card if you don’t know, bette Midler, that we don’t think that’s helpful or useful, that there’s no wrong way to be gay. Everybody’s a little stereotypically gay and a little stereotypically straight all the time and we wanted to talk about that.
Kyle Getz
Yeah, and some of the epitome topics may seem out there, but actually there’s something a little gay about just about everything we found. We found you can pick any random topic and there’s something kind of gay about it that’s worth exploring Farming is that stereotypically straight? Or Roller Coasters there’s a whole gay subgroup of Roller Coaster fanatics. Everything is kind of gay.
Brad Shreve
So taking from Avenue Q, everyone’s a little bit Gayish.
Mike Johnson
Absolutely yeah, yep.
Brad Shreve
You mentioned that when you came up with the idea. So tell me how this show started. Where did you? Because you started back in 2007, didn’t you?
Mike Johnson
2017.
Brad Shreve
I’m sorry 2017. And I actually looked it up and back. When you started, 15% of the public had listened to a podcast in the past week and this year it’s 31% just checked for the last couple of months, so you were pretty new in the game. It’s double since then. What motivated you? Who set it first and how did you decide the theme there? I’m throwing out three questions at you.
Mike Johnson
So Kyle and I had been friends for a really long time. We worked together starting in 2008 and I just really hit it off as friends. And then Kyle is a writer and had some creative projects that he would let me help out with from time to time Everything from just running the clapboard for a digital short that he did to maybe helping him write jokes from time to time. We discovered through that process that we really enjoyed being creative together and I think it was Kyle that said like, hey, let’s sit down and brainstorm what are other ways that we can work together. And at the time I think podcasts were on the rise and we just happened to catch the wave at the right moment. I mean, when he brought up let’s do a podcast, he thought, sure, why not, let’s give it a shot.
Kyle Getz
I feel like the origins of the podcast just started from before we even knew that that’s what we wanted to do just sitting in bars talking about ways we feel like we fit in or didn’t fit in with the community, expectations and all that. Mike has always been someone I can have really honest, genuine conversations with, and I’ve appreciated that about our friendship, and so I think some of those conversations were like I think this is interesting and I think a lot of people experience this and I don’t see a lot of people talking about this. I think that’s why a podcast seemed like a good conduit to have some of these conversations.
Mike Johnson
Pretty early on it became clear that people really responded to two gay guys that were legit, just platonic friends. Our relationship is not sexual, it is just really but genuine and supportive and intimate, without being sexual, and I think people have really responded to that, because we get so many messages from media that, like any two gay guys, they’re probably banging right and it’s been really sweet to see the way that people have responded to that.
Brad Shreve
I didn’t even think that was possible.
Kyle Getz
I was surprised I was not expecting that to come out of our conversations is just people being like. You know, some people don’t believe it and believe that we are secretly in love, which, sorry, mike, we’re just not. But you love each other. We love each other, yeah, but in a very friendship kind of way, and a lot of people let us know that they had not seen that depicted very often, if ever.
Brad Shreve
You know what I’m saying? I moderate a podcasting group and when we have new people there, people say I like to keep it real when I’m podcast. Our response is always there’s nothing real about podcasting because people don’t talk with a microphone in their face and that sort of thing. But you guys sound like you’re just sitting at the bar, sitting in a coffee house or whatever and shooting the shit.
Kyle Getz
I think we joke. Sometimes we’re like 85 to 90 percent ourselves on the podcast, but there is part of it that like I don’t look up stats for things and then come and sit down with my friends and say, well, I was looking at a study reset, you know, like there’s parts of it that are, you know, we’ve created as part of what the show is. But our personalities and who we are and the types of discussions we have, those are genuine and authentic as as much as we can be.
Mike Johnson
And there’s definitely podcast voice to. I don’t have like super inflect everything when I’m talking to Kyle hungover on a Sunday morning.
Kyle Getz
Yeah, we don’t always say hello and welcome to my home.
Mike Johnson
I’m so happy to have you here.
Kyle Getz
You know they’re definitely podcasting voice. Yeah, definitely.
Brad Shreve
When this episode is over, you should scroll to Gayish and subscribe. You’ll be glad you did, but there is a first step. On the app you’re using to hear me now, find the button that says subscribe or follow. I’ll give you one second to tap that thing. Good job. Now you’ll be notified every time a new episode of where we are goes out and you won’t miss a single one. You guys are listed like all over the place and you’re in LGBTQ plus resources for numerous universities, and you’ve been on the press and to that really stood out to me. One Esquire magazine said they bring a sense of thoughtfulness along with humor to each topic. And then Oprah Daley said the easy, funny banter of longtime friends and they tackle LGBTQ specific issues with curiosity, respect and self-awareness. I don’t know if I will always say respect, but usually, if you’re not, it’s on purpose. I’m not going to ask if you expected that, because I know what the answer to obviously not. But when did you realize? Oh my God, we hit something here.
Mike Johnson
I, early on, expected like there was going to be some viral moment, that, like our, our listenership was going to have a bend in it and it’s just go ramping up because we hit the right note or had the right s on or some magic would happen. That is not the case. It has been a slow, steady growth the whole time, and so I don’t think there was ever a moment per se where I was like this is it, we’ve made it. It just hasn’t happened that way. That’s not how how the audience has built. I do say, when we started we were like if 50 people listen to an episode, then we’re doing really great and boy howdy. If we only knew then I think.
Kyle Getz
I think there were two moments that stand out to me as like, oh, this means something. One of them was Davey Wavy sent us an email. He’s a really popular YouTuber and pretty well known among gay men, and the fact that he reached out to us I was like I had to double check and be like is this really, is this really him? I like remember I forget if we were already together, if I send like a text or something was like Davey Wavy just sent us a message and wants to do something. We were big enough to get noticed by a really popular YouTuber.
That was a big moment in my mind. The other one is is a little bit more personal is someone reached out and said we were early on, had a conversation about depression and that’s something I deal with, and at that time it was big for me to be that honest about what I was going through. And someone emailed and said thanks for your episode about depression. Because of you, I reached out to someone for the first time in a long time to help work on my depression and I printed out that email and I still have that on my shelf because that was so meaningful that, like I know what it’s like going through this and to have what we do make some kind of any kind of impact on someone’s mental health was huge to me.
Brad Shreve
It’s interesting Because, seeing how busy you guys are on Discord on Facebook you have your Patreon it’s hard for me imagine, like when you started out, that you weren’t getting this massive wave from the beginning.
Kyle Getz
I think we built up this. Yeah, like Mike said, it’s just kind of been slow and steady. We just slowly. We just keep getting a few more Facebook followers here and there and you know, a few more listeners every time it’s yeah, there’s never been just kind of this one. All of a sudden it skyrocketed. So it’s kind of felt just just like a steady kind of forward progress.
Mike Johnson
Now I will. I will give us a little bit of credit and say that from the very beginning, we’ve sort of adopted this approach of act as if, instead of acting like we’re a small podcast, trying to get started, pretend that we’re bigger than we are, how would we operate? And we tried to create community spaces and really encourage a community to grow, and I think that tending that garden has really, really resulted in great benefits for us and for the people that are involved. It’s so touching to see the way that the community supports each other and is in each other’s lives, and a lot of that really happened because before it was even warranted, or before we probably should have, we created these spaces and have slowly grown them over time.
Brad Shreve
Yeah, it’s really hard to find a podcaster. That concerns other podcast competition. Everybody’s usually pulling together.
Kyle Getz
Absolutely. I even find that with my podcast listening like I go to communities and then they’ll recommend other similar podcasts and it’s actually beneficial to have people listen to those shows because then you’ll want to listen to more shows like them, and some people, like me, spend a lot of their days listening to podcasts. I have plenty of time to listen to more podcasts, especially working from home. So, yeah, I think by having more gay podcasts, that only helps everyone.
Mike Johnson
Even our arch-nemesis Derek and Romaine were fun Like we hang out. It’s all for shows that we hate each other.
Brad Shreve
And where are they? Let people know what show.
Mike Johnson
Derek and Romain From the Derek and Romain show on the Derek and Romaine Network. On the Derek and Romaine app.
Brad Shreve
I’ve never heard of them.
Kyle Getz
I’ll add them to my list. They’re a long running show A gay guy and a lesbian woman that have a friendship and they’ve had just a really long running show in a big community and we’ve been on each other’s shows and joked about our rivalry with them and yeah, everyone tries to, I think, help each other out and appearing on each other’s shows or I don’t know, just recommending shows and stuff.
Brad Shreve
So you have a Mad Naaman Jimmy Kimmel kind of thing going on. No, kyle, you mentioned your depression and my guy. From many episodes I know a lot about you. You guys are pretty much out there. I’m sure there are some things you hold back, but not much. Was there a discussion in the beginning or like when did you say we’re just going to let it all out there? Did you have the discussion like how much are we going to hold back and not tell people?
Mike Johnson
Well, we definitely have drawn boundaries with each other. There have been a couple of things that we’ve said. I’d prefer for this not to come up on the podcast but those are really few and far between. And from the very, very beginning, I think authenticity and vulnerability were such important characteristics that we wanted to bring to the show and we wanted it to be the good, the bad and the ugly of a real, authentic gay male experience. And we have often, when talking about episode ideas, had one or the other or both of us say that topic makes me uncomfortable. Now we have to do it and it’s good therapy. I keep saying that too. I think having a podcast is really good therapy because just the process of like taking this shit that’s in your head and putting it into words and expressing it is cathartic.
Kyle Getz
Boy, I do the editing. So listening back to ourselves having conversations sometimes is like illuminates, like, oh you know, Mike said this thing that I totally missed. I wish I was like more present for that moment. Or wow, I said this thing and I don’t know if I actually agree with myself or that’s worth reflecting on. So, yeah, there is a little bit of like hearing yourself back. That is very useful, I think.
Brad Shreve
Kyle, I want to tell you as far as you’re being open about your depression goes. I have bipolar disorder and I’ve heard you on several podcasts and I just want to say I appreciate it, I’ve done the same, I really thought about it and I just said you know what? I’m just going to tell them. I can’t think of. There’s very little. The listeners don’t know about me and I think it’s for the better.
Kyle Getz
Like you said, yeah, I do think our episode about depression was one of the early conversations where I had to kind of make a decision of how much am I going to talk about it, and that was like a big thing. It mirrored Mike and I’s relationship because that was a big thing for me to share with Mike, just as friends. He was one of the first people that I was able to really talk to about that and so to bring it over to the podcast. Then there was another level of okay, how much am I going to talk and share? And once I broke that kind of seal of keeping that in then everything else.
I think there are things that are a little bit uncomfortable and I’m trying to talk about and work on and I’m getting, I feel like just over the course of the podcast, have gotten better and better at being open and honest and authentic. So do you all have a favorite episode? An early favorite was an episode called weddings that it was a little bit different than our typical episode because Mike and I each recorded separately and we recorded our experience of attending our straight friends wedding. There’s mixture of joy and sorrow and happiness and pain that comes along with someone else’s wedding, especially when you’re single, especially when you’re gay, especially when you feel like you missed out on things. So we just kind of solo documented our experiences and then I wove them together into a story so that one has always been a favorite of mine.
Brad Shreve
Would you say your listeners agree?
Kyle Getz
We just recently got a comment about that episode and it’s episode like 34 or something like that. It’s very early on, so when we get a comment about a really old episode, I know that it was meaningful to people. So, yeah, we still get comments about that one.
Mike Johnson
One that sticks out to me is when George Floyd happened during the pandemic and there were all of the demonstrations, we did an episode called Gay White Privilege. That is also slightly different from our normal format and I really enjoyed that. We’re very consistent with our format until we’re not, and that’s what makes them stand out. I think similarly, we had one during the pandemic, was? It’s just called? How Are you?
Kyle Getz
Is that what we called it? I think so.
Mike Johnson
Kyle and I broke quarantine and got together because we just we needed each other. You know, rules be damned, and we were both struggling and just needed to have a chat. So we didn’t do our normal stick at all, we just sat down and hit record and talked through what was going on for us at that stage of the pandemic. And that one also sticks out to me.
Brad Shreve
Is there a subject that you, or an episode that you were like, not necessarily regret, but it’s cringe worthy? And you can’t say your first one? That’s cheating.
Kyle Getz
I think some of the jokes we made early on I wish that I’ve grown in my understanding of I mean, mike mentioned gay white privilege. Like my white privilege, I’ve grown and learned in my understanding of systemic oppression and other people’s experiences. I think some of our early jokes were not taking any of that into account and I regret that. A friend of mine actually said, like you do a lot of fat shaming and I had no idea that that was something about me, that I did and I did make jokes like that and that’s another like I. Just I think I learned a lot from putting myself, putting my voice out there, and have grown a lot, not just as a podcaster but as a person from that.
Brad Shreve
And you’ve done at least one episode on body dysmorphia.
Kyle Getz
Yeah, that’s something that I deal with, so it’s interesting to struggle with feelings about your body, but also like being able to. I think some of those jokes come from a source of discomfort with your own self, and learning to love yourself then, I think, helps avoid shaming others for their process or wherever they’re at.
Brad Shreve
And Mike, you said you guys are consistent in your show and I listed off the mix of subjects that you covered and I know you’ve covered horses and nipples, which Davey Wavy was on, which is a perfect choice to have on the Nipple episode. But what’s consistent is the two of you. I mean you have a format of from beginning to end, but it’s the two of you that really make the difference.
Mike Johnson
Yeah, I’ve said to Kyle a bajillion times, but especially at the beginning of the endeavor, that we are the product, and I think we’re aware of that. But, like any product, you still you have to package it and quality control it and ship it, and so we’ve worked really hard on those things too. But yeah, I agree with you, at the end of the day, our relationship and the way that we interact with each other and and our dynamic is the product. Interesting note on that. I think we’re very, very different people and it’s amazing that we haven’t killed each other. In fact, our Myers-Briggs types, which I think are bullshit and no better than horoscopes, but our Myers-Briggs types are exactly opposite.
Brad Shreve
Well, sometimes I think that works.
Mike Johnson
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Brad Shreve
And I’m talking about your format. Now, you guys open the episodes right near the beginning. You always do the news and Mike, at least after every news, read that you do at least 90 percent. You say those fuckers no we’re dickbag fuckface assholes.
Mike Johnson
Yeah, pretty regularly that people have repeated back to me at times.
Brad Shreve
And I’m listening, and I’m saying it right there with you. So how do you guys stay above it all? How do you keep moving? How do you keep going with everything that’s going on right now?
Mike Johnson
I mean, it’s a great question. I think we do try to bring levity to it all. And one nice thing about doing the news at the top of the show, like that it has a cap right. This is when we’re going to talk about this depressing, depressing shit and then we’re going to get on with the rest of the show and get on with our lives. So it lets us not ignore those things, bring light to those things and chat about those things, but not have it dominate the show. So I think it works out pretty well that way.
Kyle Getz
I think what I like about what’s happening is because Mike does the news. I get to now be more informed, which I think is information is part of the power that we need to wield, and Mike also does a good job of including positive stories as well, so that we’re reminded of the good and the bad. We’re not avoiding the bad, but we’re reminding ourselves that there’s good and bad out there, and I think that balance and just the information, the education in our discussion, helps us stay on top of what’s going on and be aware.
Brad Shreve
And it’s hard to find those positive news sources. Mike, you’ve read a couple of stories at times and I’m like, where did you hear that? Because I subscribed at least probably two and a half dozen different online newsletters, magazines etc. And I have it’s all the exact same bulls on and every everyone. And it’s not when I say bulls and stuff you don’t want to hear, but it’s obviously important. It’s the exact same thing on every one of the front pages and I have to dig and dig and dig to find the positive stories in there. And I talked to enough people. I’ve connected with enough people from national organizations that are charitable organizations and that sort of thing, and I know people are doing good stuff, but it’s so damn hard to find.
Mike Johnson
Yeah, it can be. I do have the benefit of the. We have a news channel on our Discord, and our listeners that are active there will post stuff all the time, and quite often it will be this, like you know, more positive type of story, so I’m very grateful to them for that. It’s not just positive stuff. That’s hard to find, though. Sometimes we’re very aware of the fact that we’re both white men, and so I try to make sure that we’re covering the news in a way that includes people of color as much as we can, and trans people as much as we can, just because I think a lot of gay white dudes are so myopic in their awareness of what’s going on with the rest of the LGBT umbrella.
Brad Shreve
And it’s not just the LGBTQ, it’s mainstream media. If a white kid is kidnapped look at John Benay Ramsey a few years back, more than a few years back all over the news If a black kid is kidnapped, you don’t hear about it. I mean you find it through secondary sources.
Mike Johnson
Yep, absolutely, and it’s hard to know how to influence that at all right. At the end of the day, news is still just a business. Like they’re trying to sell ads and they’re trying to attract a viewership or a readership or a listenership, and so they have to cover things in a way that people expect so that they stay there. Yeah, I don’t know how you make people care about people that aren’t like them, but we should try.
Brad Shreve
Your listeners. I mean, they are so interactive. I mentioned it earlier that you have Discord and your Discord channel has a Dungeons and Dragons group. What are some of the other groups that you have there? And yeah, go ahead. What are the other groups?
Mike Johnson
Well, there’s a World of Warcraft guild that plays together every Monday night and just we hop on Discord on Voice Chat and mostly talk about each other’s lives and boys while we’re playing this game. There’s a Minecraft server and there’s a Minecraft group that gets together weekly and builds stuff. They made a giant statue for me for my birthday one year. That was pretty great. And then lots of like other less formally organized groups that are still very much involved with each other. Like there’s a crafting channel and they’re always making cool stuff and posting pictures of it. There’s a car interest group that’s in there. That just I don’t know, that’s the straightest thing ever if you ask me, but they’re like post pictures of their vehicles. We have a Canadians only channel, which I think is hilarious, which is why I made it. It’s really quite the place. Our Discord is quite the place and a Send Nudes channel, if that’s your jam.
Brad Shreve
Which I’ve looked at maybe once or twice. And what’s cool about your listeners, like your Facebook group? I’m going to use that as an example. You guys pop in there, but there are some posts that are very active, people are commenting, posting all kinds of stuff, and you guys aren’t involved at all. They just jump in Like there’s this connection you’ve made.
Kyle Getz
Yeah, there are very active people and I think, because of the topics that we talk about and the people that are listening, they all relate to that, so they understand what it feels like. They have a similar kind of sense of the world and understanding of the world and what it feels like to be LGBT and not totally feel like you fit in, even with the LGBT community. So I think there’s a lot of shared and mutual understanding that just comes along with knowing that you listen to this show along with other people and I think that helps form bonds very naturally, even in a digital space, and then, like, the things that people share are on that theme and other people can relate to it very easily, you know, I think the show helps inform the type of people that listen and get together.
Brad Shreve
And considering how bonded they are and passionate they are about each other and your show, how much of a sense of responsibility do you feel you have?
Kyle Getz
Yeah, I have to. You mentioned that. We pop in now and then I stay abreast of what’s going on in some of the channels of Discord for example, but I’m not into the like weeds of everything. Like I have to find a balance between my investment in the podcast in the community, which I love, and also my own time and mental health and what I’m able to do. So that’s kind of the balance you’re seeing happen in real time. I will, especially if someone mentions me directly, I try to react to that. Or comments on the show itself or something that we said, I try to react and engage with that. But people are going to post and contribute what they want. In terms of our responsibility, I think we’ve drawn a line at if someone’s blatantly transphobic, that’s not allowed and you don’t get too many chances on that. Or someone blatantly racist, Like there are some lines that we have just drawn and that’s not part of what our community is about and you won’t be allowed if you cross some of those boundaries.
Brad Shreve
Well, yeah, any community has to be monitored, but it would be a full time job, for, with everything else that you have going on, you would do nothing but the podcast.
Mike Johnson
Yeah, I will also say, though, that for the size of these communities that we’re talking about the Facebook group, the Discord server I’m surprised that we don’t have more issues. We have had problems like we have forcibly removed people from those spaces for one reason or another, but it’s so rare compared to the size, and that has been really gratifying. I think that it’s good people. We have good people.
Brad Shreve
You don’t get a lot of prosyletizing in there.
Mike Johnson
No, no, every once in a while we’ll get some hate mail, but, or we got a voicemail from a Christian lady one time telling us that we couldn’t handle the truth, or whatever it was that she said. No, no, people are pretty respectful of each other and want to do the right thing and generally get along.
Brad Shreve
I think I’ve only had two of those. So yeah, I think they have bigger fish to fry than us Boy, I hate to ask this question because I’m a writer and I hate it when people ask me where do you get your ideas? But your episodes, where do you get your ideas, like one in particular I’m thinking of is I mentioned it to you before you went to a Jackoff Club in Seattle. So I’m curious did you say I’m going to go check out a Jackoff Club, or did you say let’s do an episode about Jackoff Clubs and I’m going to go check it out, or is that too personal?
Mike Johnson
It’s not too personal. I mean, kyle makes fun of me for this all the time, because it’s funny, because it’s absolutely true. I have used the podcast on multiple occasions to force myself into a situation that I was interested in but otherwise hesitant. So I knew that this group existed for a long time, when my ex-wife and I were still together. I knew that this was a group that got together and so then thought you know, I’ll go and then we’ll turn it into a podcast episode. And that got me off my ass and I went to this thing. So it’s both, I guess.
Brad Shreve
Yeah, I guess. So it seems like it would be both, and it was a news to me. I mean, once you had the episode I wasn’t surprised, but I’d never heard of, or even thought of, a jackoff Club.
Mike Johnson
Yeah, and there’s a lot of them in a lot of cities.
Brad Shreve
What other things have you learned over the years that you didn’t know?
Kyle Getz
I think one thing we found is that a lot of stereotypes start as the assumptions and stereotypes of women and things that we assume about women are then placed upon gay men. So any when you trace back the root of where does why did this become a stereotype about gay men? It’s probably because it was an assumption made of women and gay men are assumed to be feminine.
Brad Shreve
It’s an assumption in general, Like what kind of gay stereotypes do you feel like you’ve really conquered Not necessarily the world, but you’re a little part of it?
Kyle Getz
I feel like everything we could dig in way more like there. It’s funny because we’re we’re trying to research a different topic every single week and there are people that spend their academic lives researching, like I’m trying to look up studies, and people will write dissertations about this, and people will do multiple different studies about this, and so it’s I don’t know, that we’ve conquered anyone. I don’t know. You were going to say something, mike, though Maybe you have a different.
Mike Johnson
No, I totally agree. I think it’s been surprising to me how many of them are kind of true. Like you know, a lot of stereotypes are based in some kind of truth, but of course, none of them are absolutes either. That’s where people really get into trouble is when they take those stereotypes and assume that they are absolutely true. But something that came to mind while we were talking, though I, early on in the podcast, was guilty of a great deal of by erasure and but it like explicitly like I didn’t think that bisexual men existed, and I’ve definitely learned that I was absolutely wrong and very grateful for that lesson.
Brad Shreve
That is still very common.
Mike Johnson
Yeah, my people are real. Everybody, let’s just get over yourself.
Brad Shreve
And Kyle, you’re talking about the people doing research on all these different things to prepare for this. I was looking through through a lot of your past episodes. I’ve dug through the past to find some but like one that stood out to me was but plugs. How do you find over? You guys are usually over an hour or, like right, an hour a little over. How do you find an hour’s worth of topic discussion about but plugs?
Kyle Getz
I have had this week after week for long enough. I never learn. We’ll bring up a topic and I’ll be like there’s no way we can talk about this for that long, there’s going to be nothing. And then I just do a little bit of research, I do just do the tiniest bit of research and I come up with all of these ideas and it just, it does not fail. It does not matter the topic. We’ve always found plenty that there is to talk about, even on the most weird and out there topics that we’ve picked. I don’t know, it’s just, there’s just gay shit everywhere.
Brad Shreve
And I agree with what you said, Mike. I think stereotypes exist for a reason is when you make judgments based on those stereotypes that you run into trouble. So, based on stereotypes this has come up just recently with you and I actually commented back to you on Patreon you did some low math and you don’t believe there are guys over 10 inches.
Mike Johnson
Nope, I do not, I do not.
Brad Shreve
Many one that you thought was.
Mike Johnson
I mean, I have hooked up with men who claimed that and at the time, believed them, but I also. It’s a story. I think that this is what’s happening for the most part. I think most people’s experiences where they think for sure they have in their past hooked up with this guy and it was an. It was an 11 inch penis, according to the the profile, and hooked up and, holy shit, that was a massive penis. And as I’m cleaning myself up and getting ready to leave, I forget exactly how this is years ago now. I forget exactly how, how you brought it up, but he said you know, it’s really only a little over nine, but I have to say 11 so people understand what they’re getting themselves into.
And because everybody exaggerates by some number and people’s scales are off because of that effect. Also, there’s an optical illusion effect, like when you look down at your own penis, it is a different angle than when you’re looking out at the world, at another penis, and it messes up your ability to judge things. And it’s just. It’s just get a ruler out and look at where 10 inches is on that ruler and ask yourself in your heart of hearts if you honestly believe that that penis was that big? It’s just not, and you know, you look at the studies and the average is a little over five inches. The standard deviation is point six six inches for a 10 inch penis to exist, it’s like. It’s like one in 10 billion.
Brad Shreve
And is it impossible to find anyone online that their profile doesn’t say they have seven, seven and a half inches? Absolutely impossible. So I guess guys with five inches are exaggerating. A guy with eight inches can exaggerate as well. And when it comes to the size thing, a lot of guys, I think, have the size issues. Porn does a lot because first of all, you only get the guys that are bigger than normal, and then the camera angles are really what do it?
Mike Johnson
And you know, we know, we know from studies that there is a correlation between height and penis size, but that it is a weak correlation, that there are a lot of very, very large penises on super short, small men and they tend to go into porn as well and it compounds that effect, so that penis looks enormous on that person because it’s a little person.
Kyle Getz
And there were early studies that were based on self reported data that said that the average was six inches. A lot of people believe that the average is six inches still because of some of these early self reported studies and some of the early studies of gay men said that they were bigger than even straight guys, and so they’re like they’re, these rumors that gay men even had bigger penises than straight guys, and so a lot of people have a misunderstanding of that. The actual penis sizes, like Mike said, a little over five inches. That that is average. That six is not average. Six is above average.
Brad Shreve
Well, I just tell people it’s a shame I’m not a size screen because I will say I’ve been in relationships and with more than a few guys that I think you’re wrong, mike, but I’ll have to go back with a ruler to find out for sure.
Mike Johnson
Please do, and if he’s over 10, have him call me.
Brad Shreve
We’re at the top of the list. I knew that Clemdy was 10 by 10.
Mike Johnson
That’s like a traffic cone, girl. That’s not. That’s not. There’s no way.
Brad Shreve
I’ve seen guys sitting on traffic cones. Oh, they’re awful, but anyway, I know, I know we’ll make judgment, but yeah, not for me. So that note. I think we should wrap it up. You guys give me a list of your social profiles. Where is the best place to find you on social media?
Mike Johnson
mean we are at Gayish podcast on all of them. Yeah, probably.
Kyle Getz
Instagram. Instagram at Gage podcast.
Brad Shreve
And then, of course, you have your website, but you pretty much, as everybody says, wherever they’re listening to me, they’ll find you as well.
Mike Johnson
Yep, that’s absolutely true.
Brad Shreve
Yeah Well, thank you not only just for being on my show, but for having a great show. I look forward to it every week.
Mike Johnson
Thank you so much Thanks for having us Really appreciate it.
Kyle Getz
Yeah, thank you.
Brad Shreve
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