These transcripts are computer generated with no editing.
Brad Shreve:
This is Queer We Are. As 2024 approaches, will we soon see a gay adaption of Mister Rogers or maybe a queer Sesame Street? You know, at one time, the idea would have been ludicrous. I think back on my favorite cartoons and books as a kid and The possibility of, say, Judy Jetson being a lesbian, well, I wouldn’t even understood what that means. And there have been many jokes About Thelma on Scooby Doo being a lesbian over the years, but what about nonbinary? And maybe Shaggy is trans. And as far as books, how about 2 dads as the parents in the Berenstain Bears? And maybe the cat in the hat is pansexual. I mean, yeah, I’m joking around a bit, but we have come a long way. I mean, recent years, Disney has been trickling queer people in their stories a little at a time. And, hell, when Coco Peru was my guest, we discussed her lending her voice to Dead End: Paranormal Park, A cartoon with a transgender teenage boy as the lead.
Brad Shreve:
I never thought that day would come. I knew we were making headway, but I didn’t know how much until I watched some episodes of Queer Kid Stuff, where the host is my guest, Lindz Amer. Lindz opened my eyes to the tremendous number of queer books for children being published. I mean, I knew young adult novels had come a long way, But not for the little ones. I’m now enlightened and understand Linds will have no shortage of LGBTQ children’s books to read anytime soon. And, damn, that makes me smile. Lindz is striving to make children’s shows To discuss what transitioning means gives an intro to intersexuality and even that, unicorns are queer horses, which I believe and you know what? They’re not striving to do it. They are doing it with a goal to go big and reach children far and wide.
Brad Shreve:
Given Lindz’s enthusiasm, I think they’ll do it. And to top it off, Lindz’s book, “Rainbow Parenting”, is out now and it’s a parent’s guide to raising queer children. And we’re only a few months away from the release of their children’s Picture book, “Hooray for She, He, Ze, and They”. Learn more about the great things you’re doing, and you don’t have to go anywhere to do it. Because you know why. I’m Brad Shreve, and my guest is Lindz Amer and queer we are. Well, Linds, we have come a long way since Heather has 2 mommies and daddy’s roommate back in 1991, wouldn’t she say?
Lindz Amer:
I definitely would say, for sure.
Brad Shreve:
I was looking at the large number of queer books for children that you have on Queer Kids Stuff books page now, and I gotta say I’m impressed. I’m surprised, and I’m surprised.
Lindz Amer:
Yeah. There’s a lot that’s in that space now.
Brad Shreve:
So I’ve been aware that there’s a wave of young adult queer books, But I wasn’t aware of so many for for the younger kids.
Lindz Amer:
Yeah. I feel like it’s been over the last 5 or so years in, like, the last maybe, like, 3 to 2 to 3 years, like, in particular. When I started Queer Kids Stuff in 2016, there really wasn’t a lot. But now it’s just like I can’t even keep track of how many there are at this point.
Brad Shreve:
One thing I got to see that really surprised me, and I’m pleasantly surprised, is not just that there’s such a large number of them, but your current book that’s out, “Rainbow Parenting, Your Guide to Raising Queer Kids and Their Allies,” was published by St. Martin’s, which is a division of Macmillan.
Lindz Amer:
Mhmm.
Brad Shreve:
And then your upcoming book next year, Hooray for She, He, They, and They, is being published by Simon and Schuster. Yeah. Those are some pretty big houses.
Lindz Amer:
Yeah. I I I think so.
Brad Shreve:
Did it catch you by surprise?
Lindz Amer:
No. Because that’s what I was working toward for sure. My literary agent and I started working together, and, originally, we wanted to sell the picture book. It took a really long time to get there, But we ended up selling both books in the same year in 2021, the parenting book in March and the picture book in November. And we were we were shooting for those large publishing houses. We wanna make sure that traditional publishing is taking these topics seriously. And, I have a very particular specialty and expertise, and, I hope that that kind of, that kind of, like, legitimacy lends itself to it. And, and that’s not to say that there aren’t, like, a lot of incredible indie and, like, especially Queer owned and trans owned presses that are making just, like, fantastic books in this space.
Lindz Amer:
But I think, you know, Simon and Schuster has a lot of resources, and I’m really excited To, see them, you know, put their money where their mouth is a little bit with this picture book that’s coming out.
Brad Shreve:
Well, I think it’s fantastic, and no need to no offense to those that independently published. I independently published. I chose to in the beginning, But there’s no denying there is a certain legitimacy that comes from going through a publishing house. So I’m I’m thrilled that yours did, and it does give us some legitimacy, which is well deserved. So good on you.
Lindz Amer:
Thank you. Appreciate it.
Brad Shreve:
So you have your YouTube series, Queer Kids Stuff, which I look forward to discussing, And your podcast, “”Rainbow Parenting””, and then the books that I mentioned. But I wanna start with your background. What called you to produce Videos and books for children as well as the tours that you do.
Lindz Amer:
Yeah. For sure. I Was in undergrad, and I was studying theater. And I thought, you know, I was gonna go into musical theater. I was gonna be this big Broadway person, like, that was gonna be my path. And I went to school and didn’t get cast in a single thing because I don’t think anybody knew what to do with this, like, confused queer trans kid. Right? I mean, I didn’t identify as all in all those ways at the time. So I think maybe my confusion showed through.
Lindz Amer:
But I was doing that, and I was frustrated with the space that I was in. And then I kind of, the program that I went to had a really robust theater for young audiences program, and I really just kind of fell in love with children’s Storytelling. There’s something that’s, like, really universal about it and super approachable, that just kind of Resonated with my sensibilities. I’d always loved Pixar and Disney growing up. And, I mean, I still, one of my favorite shows is Steven Universe. So animation and and kids Media has always been kind of a part of my life. My mom’s an early childhood music educator. Maybe that was an influence.
Lindz Amer:
And then at the same time, I was taking gender theory And, like, queer theory and gender studies classes and, like, starting to figure out parts of my identity just at the very beginning of that journey. And I kind of, like, looked at these 2 spaces that I was starting to occupy and develop interest in, and I wondered why they couldn’t speak to each other. So I started kind of, As I was, you know, honing my artistic voice and figuring that out kind of on the in the theater side, the poor performance side, I I wanted to kinda bring the plus topics, into that, and I found there just really wasn’t anything. And when I did try to do, work in that space with in with those topics, I came up against a lot of gatekeepers. That was, very frustrating for me. So, I kind of I was living in London, doing grad school and was a little bit homesick ended up watching a lot of American YouTubers, queer YouTubers in particular. And I kind of discovered that there was a lot of education in that space and a lot of kids watch YouTube. And I kind of wondered, okay, if a way I could get past these gatekeepers is by just, you know, uploading something directly to a place where Kids are where people are used to educational content that could kind of be a fix.
Lindz Amer:
And so I Grabbed a couple of friends and a camera, and we shot the 1st episode. And, people liked it, and, now it’s kind of Turned into a career somehow. So that’s a little bit of the origin story.
Brad Shreve:
I think it’s funny that you said that you couldn’t find work because Because it almost seems to be like you didn’t even give it much time. I mean, it wasn’t long after you graduate that you started your web series. And before then, Right after graduation, you and some friends, you cofounded Blue Laces.
Lindz Amer:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was the nonprofit theater company that I started with some college friends. Yeah.
Brad Shreve:
Yeah. How did that come about? Because that’s pretty exciting right out of college that you did that. Or were you still in college?
Lindz Amer:
Yeah. Yeah. It was right after. That was part of a we so we started a student led theater group when we were in undergrad at Northwestern. Turn. It was just like me and a couple of the other theater students. We were making multisensory theater for, kids with developmental disabilities, so mostly autism spectrum. And it was just really fun.
Lindz Amer:
I’ve it’s interesting. I’ve, I’ve since kind of, like, figured out that I’m neurodivergent myself, some sort of combination of ADHD and autism. So I’m kind of like, I really enjoyed Doing that work, and I really enjoyed experiencing it. And now I’m kind of like, oh, okay. It’s because it was, like, made for brains like mine. But at the time, I didn’t identify that But, yeah, we just really enjoyed doing it when we were in college, and we, you know, wanted to do it outside of college. We wanted to continue, and so we started this nonprofit company, But, unfortunately, I I’m not a part of the group anymore. Left that a couple years ago because Queer Kids Stuff just kind of took over my life.
Lindz Amer:
But it was it was really fun while I was doing it. We had a great time.
Brad Shreve:
Well, it made me laugh because it is so theater people because it makes me think back to the days of the old Mickey Rooney movies. Hey, kids. Let’s do a show. Yeah. No hard part. Let’s let’s do a show. Let’s start this whole theater company. And there you did it.
Lindz Amer:
Yeah.
Brad Shreve:
Now you’ve done the same thing with your web series and and the other things that you’re doing.
Lindz Amer:
Yeah. Queer Kids have honestly started kind of around the same time, maybe, like, a few years afterward. But I I do think that, like, there was, in, like, the theater program that I came up in undergrad, there was a really, like, entrepreneurial spirit about it of, like, we’re just gonna grab some people, and then we’re gonna grab a script, we’re gonna do a show, and then it goes up in a week, and then it comes back down in a week. And, I think that just kind of, like, Let’s make something happen attitude really helped us with the with the theater company, certainly, but also was, like, when I had the idea for the web series, I was kind of like, okay. Let’s just do it. Let’s try it. Let’s put it together, see what we can make of the resources that we have. And, it was it was scrappy and shoestring, certainly, but, it turned into a thing that’s like that millions of people have, enjoyed, and it’s I think it’s changed people’s Lives.
Lindz Amer:
And, I get messages from people all the time about how it’s helped their kids understand their gender identity, how they used it to help explain, topics to their grandparents, lots of different things.
Brad Shreve:
And we need more let’s make things happen kind of people.
Lindz Amer:
I think so.
Brad Shreve:
Queer We Are is sponsored by Help You Better. Join the billions seeking online therapy who have reached out for a helping hand and… Nah. Just kidding. Who needs to hear another podcast advertising those guys? This show is brought to you by the new Queer We Are Shop, the LGBTQ plus lifestyle emporium, Dozens of items available from T shirts, sweatshirts, coffee mugs, wall art, and so so much more to come at queerweareshop.com. Support this show with an LGBTQ owned business that will allow you to let your colors fly. A convenient link for you in the show notes, where we are shop.com.
Where did the idea come from, and when did you say, okay. I think I’m gonna do YouTube series and so forth.
Lindz Amer:
The idea really came from, like, trying to merge those 2 things, the Children’s storytelling and kind of, like, queer theory, gender studies 101. I Was watching, at the time, a lot of American YouTubers and was really looking at, channels like Crash Course and Crash Course Kids. Those are run by the, the Green Brothers, Hank and John Green, and they do a really, incredible job of making, just educational videos that are super engaging and entertaining but also very informative. And I really admired that model And, thought I could use kind of, like, my own skill sets as a as a theater maker, to do Something similar. Obviously, less highly produced. I did, like, a prototype, Shoot for Queer Kids Stuff, back when I was in grad school. It’s terrible. It will never see the light of day.
Lindz Amer:
We shot it, like, in the lobby of 1 of the buildings at the university that I was at, and we had to, like, pause every, like, 5 minutes because the elevator would come up and down. It was also, like, really boring because it was just me talking, like, talking head straight to camera. I hadn’t come up with the character of Teddy yet, which is, based on it’s it’s my actual childhood, like, stuffed bear that I have Had for, I don’t know, 32 years of my life almost. And, the show needed to have a conversation, Because, you know, with me just talking to the camera, I was trying to talk to kids. Right? But there wasn’t an opportunity for them to engage age with me. So I kind of came up with this puppet character, to be able to have that conversation, to be able to have the child’s voice kind of right there. And so, the kind of initial episode of the series is what does gay mean? And that came about because I just, I was just kind of, like, having this idea and going on the Internet and, like, seeing what was around and what kind of stuff existed already. And I just googled what does gay mean.
Lindz Amer:
And the things that came up were a dictionary definition that included the derogatory term of, derogatory definition of the term, gay. And, there were, like, a couple of resources for parents and educators, but there was nothing that I could find at the time that was directly, addressing kids and talking to young people about these topics. So, yeah, that’s, like, kind of how it came about.
Brad Shreve:
I was actually gonna ask you if that is really your childhood teddy bear.
Lindz Amer:
Yeah. Yeah. It is.
Brad Shreve:
I I can’t tell you how many stuffed toys I had. I remember my dad saying, you know, Brad has To to my mom, Brad has way too many stuffed toys at his age. I I don’t I was pretty old. I I wish to God I had any of them today. So the fact that you still have yours, I am so envious.
Lindz Amer:
Yeah. It’s a it’s the it’s the one that’s really stuck around. I think I had a couple others, but Teddy was always kind of like my my, like, best of Brent, which is, you know, branding, but also, is is true.
Brad Shreve:
Well, it’s turned out to be perfect branding.
Lindz Amer:
Yeah. I think so.
Brad Shreve:
So talking about talking to Teddy, when your show started, it was your videos were mostly educational, and they were important topics like, As you said, your very first one was what does it mean to be gay, and you did what does queer mean, you did a a 4 part series on what does l and then g and then b and then t mean. And then later, you actually came back and did intersexual and asexual, myths about lesbians, which I thought was funny because you they don’t all like cats, etcetera, etcetera.
Lindz Amer:
Oh, yeah. I like to throw in some adult jokes. There’s a there’s a episode. One of my favorite jokes, that we did was, if you don’t mind, I did a pride episode, where Teddy and I are talking to 2 drag queens, And we’re talking about making our own pride flags, and Teddy asks if there’s a bear pride flag. And, there is an actual bear pride flag, but, That would go a little over Teddy’s head, but I, I’m proud of that joke. Yeah.
Brad Shreve:
My husband knows the the bear flag quite well as as do And they were great topics. But later, you switched to what? For I’d say for the past 6 months, you did it off and on before, but for the past 6 months, it’s been a steady Teddy’s book club. Why the change?
Lindz Amer:
Well so I actually stopped, producing Queer Kids Stuff, in Summer of 2019. There were a lot of reasons.
Brad Shreve:
There was some bad stuff. We can say that. There was some bad shit that happened.
Lindz Amer:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There was, I mean, the harassment was Really, really intense. I mean, relatively speaking, I’m a small channel. I had channels with millions of followers just Making these horrible bullying videos, essentially, of me, and of Teddy that were just really, really hard on, like, a personal level for me to deal with. And this is, like, before I mean, this was There were not a lot of resources and not a lot of other people who understood what it felt like to be on the other side of that. It was a really, really isolating experience and traumatizing experience.
Lindz Amer:
I was diagnosed with PTSD over the last year or so, and I’ve been kind of working through that. There was also a lack of resources. I moved and lost my, the space where I Used to shoot Queer Kids Stuff. So there were, like, a lot of things just kind of changing at that time, and so I stopped, actively producing the series then. And I’ve, Over the last couple of years, I’ve been trying to kind of figure out how to breathe new life into the I know how to continue making more content because when I and and I’m saying when. When I bring Queer Kids Stuff proper back, I wanna do it right. I wanna be resourced. I want to be able to hire a team of queer and trans people to create the series, You know, where I can pay them adequately for their labor.
Lindz Amer:
I want to be able to really think through what that series and what those episodes are going to Like, I wanna have animated segments. I wanna do I wanna do a real produced show. And, that’s gonna take some time, and it’s gonna take money. And there’s a lot of prep that’s involved in making that happen. So, everybody just, you know, watch this space for when that’s happening. It’s it’s, It’s coming up, certainly, but it’s gonna take a minute. So I switched to rainbow story time, which is kind of the new, weekly series that I’ve been doing. It’s read alouds of Existing LGBTQ plus picture books either written by queer or trans authors or about queer trans people, doing my best there, but it’s been really great to be able to showcase, the incredible library of Queer and trans picture books that exist now that didn’t exist when I started Queer Kid Stuff.
Lindz Amer:
It’s been a great way to kind of revitaLindze the channel and get people engaged again with the work. I mean, I’m also writing a picture I wrote a picture book, and that’s gonna be coming out. So, you know, some marketing strategy there, certainly. But they’re also just all really easy to produce On my end, I don’t need, like, a big production to be able to do it. I don’t need a puppeteer. It’s it’s just a little bit lower budget than Queer Kids Stuff was, that makes it a little bit easier for me to create on my end. So I think something that I’ve been trying learning as a creator is okay. How can I reconcile what I want to do with what I’m capable of doing? And rainbow story time has kind of sat in a place that’s been Just a lot easier to make on my end, while I’m kind of getting my stuff together and figuring out how to make a real queer kid stuff happen because I didn’t wanna I didn’t wanna just do Queer Kids Stuff, you know, shooting it in my, like, little office without a crew.
Lindz Amer:
I really want to give that series, my flagship series, the respect that I think it deserves with a full budget.
Brad Shreve:
I really like the story time, though. Don’t know if you’re gonna see them in down the road as 2 separate things.
Lindz Amer:
Good. I’m glad. No. They’re they’re all connect they’re both connected to each other. It’s just kind of like A slightly more doable version of what I do, without kind of, like, the full production of Queer Kids Stuff, while I’m putting that together.
Brad Shreve:
Lind, we brought it up earlier, but let’s talk about just a little bit further. You put out something recently, and let’s tell them about it. So let’s start with you telling people when this show is over, what they should do right away.
Lindz Amer:
They can pick up a copy of my book, “”Rainbow Parenting””. You’re kinda raising queer kids and their allies. This is just it’s just a big brain dump for me. It’s not just a parenting book. It’s really for anyone who has young people in their lives, so parents, but also educators, also caregivers. If you’re an aunt or an uncle or a grandparent, I I really highly recommend it. It really helps people, I think, strip down a lot of their, like, beliefs and stigmas around queerness and transness in kids and then gives you a lot of practical tools for creating a queer and gender affirming environment for young people no matter whether or not they identify as LGBTQ plus or as allies. So there’s that.
Lindz Amer:
And then, and then just, you know, go to my webs website, Queer Kids Stuff .com, and you can figure out how you can, work with me, hopefully.
Brad Shreve:
I think it’s fantastic that parents now have a book like this out there, and I’m thrilled that you wrote it. And remember, folks, There’s gonna be a lot of people that are gonna try and keep this book out of libraries, which means that is exactly the reason why you should read
Lindz Amer:
I think so.
Brad Shreve:
I read somewhere you said that I and I may have the wording wrong. I think you said you wanted to be the queer mister Rogers.
Lindz Amer:
Yeah. That’s definitely come up. I think that that’s more helpful for folks to understand kind of, like, who I am and what I do. I I actually think it’s probably more accurate to say that I’m, like, more of a, like, a triangulation between Fred Rogers, Jim Henson and Steve from Blue’s Clues, but, like, the queer trans version.
Brad Shreve:
Yeah. I don’t know about Steve’s gender identity, but the whole show itself was pretty damn gay if you asked me. I loved Blue’s Clues.
Lindz Amer:
So. I’ve had the opportunity to to work with some of the Blue’s Clues team on some, on some work, and it’s been fantastic. I consulted on the, Blue’s Clues and You pride parade video that came out a couple of years ago and went viral. That was really it was really fun to work with their team and Be able to write for Blue’s Clues. I mean, not the show proper, the digital content. But, I I mean, I was a kid who, like, had my own handy dandy notebook. And, so that was, certainly a bucket list.
Brad Shreve:
That sounds and that’s a great description. The 3 the 3 combined together is perfect. And I will say your teddy is a lot cuter than those creepy puppets that mister Rogers used to have on you.
Lindz Amer:
So Oh, yeah. His puppets were a little funny like that.
Brad Shreve:
They were kind of outdated and kind of creepy, but, yeah, No. He was a great guy. He met well.
Lindz Amer:
Puppetry’s come a long way since then.
Brad Shreve:
Oh, yes. It has. Yes. It has. Thank you, Jim Henson. Thank you wherever you are. But I like it because it’s it’s it is so simple. I like it because you are sitting down just sitting with a picture book, and you’re you’re reading just like a parent Reading their child and pointing things out in this you’re not just reading.
Brad Shreve:
You’re pointing things out in the pictures, and it was engrossing to me, and I’m not a kid.
Lindz Amer:
Oh, good. I’m having a lot of fun doing them, and it’s it’s really wonder wonderful to be able to, like, introduce people to this, like, wonderful library of LGBTQ plus picture books and really be able to, like, give a platform to a lot of those authors. The space is getting pretty crowded right now, and I want to be able to show people kind of, like, where to look for certain topics And what I don’t know. I personally deem to, like, be high quality and to be I I there’s 1 picture book that I read. The a friend wrote, Carly Maines. She wrote What’s an Abortion Anyway? And it’s a small I I think she independently self publishes it. It’s a fantastic book, and it’s one I haven’t seen anything like it anywhere else. And, I I’m just really Proud that I can, you know, provide any kind of platform for books like that that I think are really needed and are filling gaps.
Lindz Amer:
It’s a really fun series to be able to do, and I’m about to bring it back. I don’t know when this podcast is going to air, but I’m working on kind of a new season of, weekly episodes of rainbow story I’m, and I think I think people are gonna like the books that I’ve got, on the on the docket for that. Been it’s been fun because I well, because it’s really cool because I’ve been able to do the video series publicly, but then I’m also doing, this, like, session of Rainbow story times where I’m, like, on Zoom and doing weekly songs and stories with kids and families. So it’s cool to be able to Not only, like, do that for a public audience, but also to be able to do it for kids and families who want to, like, bring Queer Kids Stuff in their home and wanna hang out with me and Teddy and read some fun books and sing some songs.
Brad Shreve:
You kinda touched on it when as far as wanting to have a staff and that sort of thing, I’m gonna ask you the job interview question here. Where do you want to see Queer Kids Stuff 10 years from now?
Lindz Amer:
Oh, 10 years from now.
Brad Shreve:
What’s your empire plan?
Lindz Amer:
That’s a great question. I mean, the thing. So I I also work in mainstream children’s media. I write and I consult for preschool television, and so that’s kind of always been the dream. Getting my own show, getting a Teddy and Friends show where, you know, Sesame Street style. I mean, I have I have this pitch if anyone wants to make it We’re, you know, we’re living as roommates, and we’re, you know, having we have a community of people around us, and we’re exploring different fix and from a kid’s lens. And, you know, it’s I think that it would be pretty darn cool to have a Queer trans lead for a preschool show. I want to be part of the solution, and that’s I I don’t know if that’s an empire vision, but, like, I just wanna keep doing what I’m doing and, not just, like, personally survive.
Lindz Amer:
I wanna be thriving in it, and I want other people to be able to do this too. And I think I’m me and my colleagues are at the forefront of a growing field. And I think that’s really exciting, but we’re certainly at a point where it’s a little frustrating. So, yeah, it’s a growth. Growth is is the goal right
Brad Shreve:
Well, Lindz, I agree. It does have to change on a massive schedule massive scale, but we can only deal with our little part of the world, I think you’re doing a damn good job dealing with yours.
Lindz Amer:
Thank you. I appreciate that.
Brad Shreve:
Keep it up. I like black and white in this world. Gray areas are difficult for me. Not easy for me. So I’m gonna take a walk through your background, having watched your show. Your earliest episodes, it was in your I think it was in your 1st season. You explained that you are a cis woman, and you explained that you go by she, her. Then later, you came out as non binary, And you changed to they, them.
Brad Shreve:
That that those are your pronouns, and you did an excellent job explaining that to Teddy. And then was it last year that you came out as trans? And I believe you had top surgery. Was it last year?
Lindz Amer:
Yeah. It’s been about a year and a half since I had top surgery. And a yeah. Within the last 2 years or so, I’ve come out as trans for sure.
Brad Shreve:
Okay. So this has been explained to me before, but I want you to do it for me again because I’m I’m thinking if I have a challenge with this, then, Obviously, a lot of straight people do, especially those that choose to stay closed minded. Explain to me how someone can be trans and nonbinary at the same time.
Lindz Amer:
Yeah. For sure. So I came out as nonbinary, yeah, during the show and was kinda figuring that out and then had this, like, little, coming out arc that I wrote for myself, which is, it’s kinda cool that I was able
Brad Shreve:
to cute.
Lindz Amer:
Yeah. I’m I’m glad I’m glad you liked it. Not everybody gets to that part of the series. I really think that I had to kind of grapple with myself, in the pandemic, in lockdown. We all, you know, spent a lot of time with ourselves, and I just, like, really took kind of, like, a hard look at myself at the time and started to kind of, like, unpack some of my internal biases, especially around transness. I actually a friend, like, kind of call me out, a a a trans friend of mine, because I was talking about be like, identifying as nonbinary, but not identifying as Trans, and he was just kind of like, what? And for sure, not every nonbinary person identifies as trans, but many do, and, I kind of had to grapple with some of my internaLindzed transphobia around that. And, I mean, it really came down to Two things for me. 1, the definition for the for being trans and being transgender is very simple.
Lindz Amer:
It’s just Someone who does not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. I was assigned female as my gender at birth, but I have since ReaLindze that that is incorrect. That is not how I actually identify. It’s how I it’s the agenda that I was signed at birth. Right? So be simply the fact that I don’t identify as female fulfills the definition of The word trans. Right? And then the other kind of part of it for me was, How incredible the trans community is and how I really once I started identifying as trans, I Really feel like I opened myself up to a community that I had been kind of, like, keeping an arm’s length distance from to protect myself for whatever reason and for self preservation. And, once I kind of let that go, I Became part of a community that is so vibrant and beautiful and has has done so much for me in helping me understand myself and live more authentically. And that’s kind of what got me down the road to getting top surgery, which is one of The best decisions I’ve ever made for myself in my entire life.
Brad Shreve:
Awesome.
Lindz Amer:
And that doesn’t mean that I, like, identify as a man or identify as Male. I don’t. I still identify as nonbinary. Nothing about that has really changed. It’s just kind of about, For me, personally, the way that I’ve started to align myself with the trans community and understand that to be the experience that I’ve had as a nonbinary person. So, yeah, like, internally, I can’t say that, like, anything necessarily changed when I identified as started to identify as trans and, like, use that as a label. I think that, like, I don’t think it came as, like, a surprise to anyone necessarily. I think it was more of, like, an internal thing for me.
Lindz Amer:
I think people were like, you didn’t identify as trans already? But then it just opened me up to 2 options for helping me feel more authentic in my expression, getting top surgery, and and things like that.
Brad Shreve:
So okay. I’m gonna play somewhat of a devil’s advocate here only because I have had my share of transphobia in the past. And I’m not gonna say I’m ashamed of it because it was a growing experience for me, but it’s certainly not something I’m proud of. I’ve come a long way, baby. But do you have some episodes where you’re explaining trans, and You explained to Teddy that when a baby is born, that the doctor announces the baby’s gender, and sometimes the doctor is wrong. Can you understand why some folks would like, wait. Wait. Wait.
Brad Shreve:
Wait. Wait. Wait a minute. They have a real issue with that?
Lindz Amer:
Yeah. Sure. I mean, I think that that is that, like, initial, like, thing that happens, the gender assignment at birth, I mean, that’s something that happens to all of us. And if the doctor is right, that’s great. But if the doctor is wrong, that sucks and is Essentially, the a big part of, like, why there are these terrible statistics on LGBTQ youth suicide and unhoused, unhoused rates. For people saying that they, like, might have an Chew with me telling kids that doctors can be wrong. I mean, anyone can be wrong. Any adult can be wrong about anything.
Lindz Amer:
Humans are Humans, no one is omnipotent or omniscient. People make mistakes. Doctors make mistakes plenty. I mean, that’s what malpractice is. I mean, this is essentially, you know, that. And I and I’m not saying that children shouldn’t trust doctors to an extent. I think that, You know, they are medical professionals. And and especially, you know, if we’re talking about gender affirming care, it’s really important that, you know You know, we’re doing that in a way that’s supervised and intentional and purposeful and informed.
Lindz Amer:
But, you know, no Doctor is the same just as any no one person in any other profession is the same or has the same capabilities of doing that. And Gender assignment at birth is a thing in our society that is is just how things function. And I think that it’s important to give kids, young people, the Let them know that, you know, that’s not definitive. What someone tells you you are is not definitive. You might align with that gender that you were assigned at birth and you might not, and both of those things are okay. And you can make that decision And come to that understanding for yourself outside of what someone else has told you. Because, I mean, I think This is kind of what I point to is that, like, you know, all of us have gender. Unless you identify as agender and, like, specifically don’t have to gender.
Lindz Amer:
Most of us have some sort of gender identity, and that’s true if you’re cisgender or if you’re transgender or if nonbinary or you’re agender, etcetera. So I think that it’s really important that, like, that’s True for cisgender folks too, right, of, like, understanding, like, okay. Why if I’m a cisgender woman, why do I identify that way? Is it because someone told me I should identify that way and that’s just how I’ve been taught to live my life? Or is that something that I have come to understand about myself regardless of what someone has told us? Right? So it’s all it’s Saying that, like, a doctor is wrong is more about is less about that doctor and a lot more about Giving kids agency to say that person wasn’t right about me, and I can make decisions for myself.
Brad Shreve:
Oh, I love that last line. That was very well said. Yeah. I guess Thank you. We are visual people. And Mhmm. You know, if you go by the old school, it was easy. You look as a boy, you look as a girl.
Brad Shreve:
Plain end of the story. There’s no further discussion that needs to be had. Yeah. Now in a in a world where that’s not The truth anymore, and there’s a difference to me between transphobia and not getting it. Mhmm. And I really can understand why people don’t get it yet, and it’s gonna take a while.
Lindz Amer:
Do you Sure. Yeah.
Brad Shreve:
The word? I’m I’m try I think sometimes we need to be easier on people. I’ve had people I’ve used the wrong pronouns before. The first time I’ve met somebody and been screamed at by their friends. Don’t you know that they go by theythem? And I’m like, no. I didn’t know that. Yeah. And I was you know, I’m I did a whole video on using theythem. And I will tell you, I got my share of backlash because I told people they need to respect it.
Brad Shreve:
But I also admit it. I get it wrong sometime.
Lindz Amer:
Yeah. I mean, I think that every I mean, I I work with kids. Right? I make for kids, it’s all about being welcoming and accessible and warm and making sure that I’m meeting, you know, young people at their level. And, You know, I think a reaLindzation that I’ve come to recently, especially in, like, the work that I’ve been doing with adults and with parents in particular, is that most of us are, like, Kind of at a toddler level of understanding about gender and sexuality anyways just because of, like, how our society functions. And I think we’d in order to make progress, you know, we we have to We have to lift the baseline. Right? Like, the level of understanding just, like, across the board is so, so low, And that’s why we’re having so many issues. Mhmm. And I think that people really get in there’s part of it where, like, people really get into their own heads of, like, I can’t make a mistake.
Lindz Amer:
Like, I can’t, you know, cause more harm. And, like, I think the harm that’s being caused is that people aren’t trying. And I I know that, like, we need to set a high bar for, like, where people should be at, and, like, I think that that’s important too and, like and and having higher expectations for people. But I also think, like, the barrier to entry needs to be, like Like, easier for people to just try. And I think, like, you know, Get wrapping your head around gender neutral pronouns and neopronouns, like, it takes time. It does take some rewiring. We’ve been in a binary gendered society for most of our lives. And that’s how we have grown up and how we’ve understood how we walk through our lives day to day, and that It takes it takes a minute.
Lindz Amer:
It takes a minute. It does. And I think, like, you know, there’s a difference between someone who’s on kind of like a journey of understanding versus someone who’s kind of arrived toward the end of their journey. And those 2 people, There’s it’s it’s sometimes hard to recognize where someone’s at in their understanding, and I really think that, like, you can’t compare where you are on your journey with someone else because We all have to take that journey because of the world that we live in, and just a little bit of patience, I think, goes a long way.
Brad Shreve:
And we all don’t start from the same place.
Lindz Amer:
Yeah. For sure. And, I mean, like, does that mean that, like, there’s harm being done, especially to, like, Transgender women and BIPOC trans women and transfemmes, like, 100%. And, like, we need to get to a place where that’s not true anymore. But I I really think just incremental change, and we got it. We gotta there’s there’s gotta be a mechanism for getting to that place where that’s not a problem anymore. And, I don’t think that that’s necessarily going to be a smoother, easy journey. And, we just we just gotta get more people on the boat.
Lindz Amer:
You know?
Brad Shreve:
So tell us about your tours. Like, because I know you don’t just do the YouTube series, and, of course, you’ve got your books book that’s out and a new one coming up. But what you do tours as well.
Lindz Amer:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I just came off of a big pride tour. I went to 7 different cities. I was doing tons and tons of events. But throughout the year, not just during pride, I also go into events all over the country. I go to schools and libraries and community organizations, lots of different and I do family performances.
Lindz Amer:
I also do adult book talks. So, yeah, I’m connecting with families through the web series, but also in person and virtually. So I do a lot of I do a lot of this work all over the place. It’s really fun.
Brad Shreve:
Lindz, thank you so much. It’s been a pleasure to talk with you, and thank you so much for all you’re doing.
Lindz Amer:
Of course. Thanks for having me.
